I am not an artist
But every time my heart gets sad
I starve to hold a brush
Maybe to paint
And cover up my pain

Tears and music is with me
singing out how I feel
thinking why does it have to be so hard
In accepting what is fact

Music, tears, and art
Is everything that I’ve got
Altering my feelings into words
To create another poem

Turning my words into poetry
adding a bit of melody
So I can turn it into a song
For I am dreaming it for so long

Maybe Carrie fisher was right,
we should take our broken heart
To make it into art
for we to add colors to our sad, mundane life


We all have inner Maxine Medina.

So after watching ms. universe and supporting  Ms. Philippines,  It made me realize that we all have inner Maxine medina.

Maxine did her best to represent the country and make the Filipino people proud. But just because she can’t express herself in speaking English fluently, many Filipino degrade and keep on bashing her. It’s just so sad to see that it is our own kababayan who puts her down. Of course, all of us are expecting so much from her but come on, Pia is Pia and Maxine is Maxine. They are both good and beautiful. It is just that Pia is different from Maxine. Knowing that Pia tried and attempt to join the competition for 3 times and that is what make her good and winning the crown. Maxine just tried and showed what she got even if there is already an interpreter. In my opinion, I think let’s just stop the hate to Maxine. The competition is already done. Many people already bring her down after her interview that was shared by netizens on Facebook and even bash her on twitter/Instagram.

Netizens be like: “Jusko maxine” “Ako na lang kaya sumali?” “Ano daw?”

It is really disappointing that we have this kind of colonial mentality that if you don’t speak fluently in English language, people will say, “Ang boba mo naman” or “Ano ba naman yan” but for some foreigners who are trying had to speak Tagalog, Filipinos are very bubbly and very supportive to these foreigners. Well, there’s no problem with that, somehow it makes us known to be hospitable and warm. but what’s wrong with us is when it comes to our fellow Filipino who are trying their very best to speak the Engish languge, it turns out that they humiliate and make fun of the things or words that you can’t express clearly. How ironic.

To Maxine, you did your best. Just like Queen P said, behind that beautiful gown, your knees might be trembling. Behind that beautiful smile of yours, your feet might be shaking and behind that beautiful sash that says “Philippines”, your heart just wants to come out on you ribs because of too much tension and nervousness.

It’s okay Maxine. In the end of the competition, you made us all proud because you are brave enough to compete with other 86 beautiful women in the world and to be on the top 6? You really did great.

After all, we all have inner Maxine medina, we take courage to the things that many people would not believe in. Many people will degrade and continues to let us down. but just like what Maxine did on the pageant, We should stand still and show to the world that we have the courage and the guts. She is the epitome of a courageous woman.

You still made us proud, Maxine!

A letter for my soon to be captain.

As your ship sails, my heart also sails from the memories that we did together for a limited time. 

Even the deepest ocean cannot reach the feelings that I have felt for you in a while
Even the biggest ship cannot control on how I adore you and your beautiful mind 
And even we are a thousand miles apart still, you will always have a special place in my heart. 

You colored my dead sea into a clear, sparkling sky blue
You painted my gray sand into a calm lovely white
And you fill the missing pallets in my deepest sea. 

The way we talk and knew each other’s life was effortless.
But for now, we need to let our hearts navigate to find answers in what we really feel.
Thousand talks. Limited time.
Somehow, God let me meet my soulmate.
in some philosophical beliefs, soulmates do not end up together
thus, soulmates just meet for a reason
And this is the perfect reason that I have ever encountered.
I felt special and felt to be loved again.
I don’t have any idea what will happen to us
I believe our heart will find a way.
Because what’s meant to be will always find a way.
I’m always here to be your home.

But for now, I know you have to go.
‘Til we meet again, Captain. 

“P R I O R I T I E S”


Yesterday, I was thinking about if I  will go with my mom or not. 
it’s our prelim week but if feels like we are already in finals term.
Thesis. Assignments. Projects. Exam. Quizzes. and to be honest, it’s been a long time since I went to church. almost 1 month. but I have this reason that I pray at night naman

I’m always busy and it comes up to the point that 3 hrs of sleeping would be fine. studies are one of my number one priority right at this very moment. I’m a dreamer. a dreamer always wants to achieve his/her dreams., of course, a dreamer should always be a hard worker and passionate in his/her duties. 

somehow as we are very passionate to finish and achieve what we want, we forgot to ask guidance. we forgot that even if we try harder and harder there will be a man who will always be the one who will decide if it is our time or not…. and that is God. 
the bottom line is we forgot to PRAY.

And so we went to Padre Pio church in Batangas. As I stepped up my feet in the sacred place, I felt his presence and at the same time, I felt so ashamed. it felt like I only remembered him when I needed something. 

it’s funny when my mom bought 7 colorful candles. when we lit up those candles, I heard Father’s exhortations about priorities in life. 
I was distracted because I was also praying at that moment.
It gives me chills about what he was saying because it was very timely that I chose between finishing my thesis or going to church and I remembered the thought catalog article at that time. “God comes first, College second” this line motivated me that I should go with my mom. If God wasn’t with me, I will not able to survive life and enter to college. 

It was my first time to went in Padre Pio. I was very happy at that time and until now. My necklace was blessed, I drank water at the holy fountain, And everything was so good. So right. I am very thankful and feel loved in my life right now. 

So we see, our work is useless if we do not have faith in God. God is what we all need. As they say, don’t count sheep. talk to the shepherd. 
If we have God in life, everything will fall into its place. we just need to trust and wait for that the moment. 

PS. That blue candle that I lit?

See how God works right? 🙂

Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.



Since when I was young, my mom always told us that no matter how the world cruel is, no matter how hard life will be always, always look on the brighter side of the life because challenges and sufferings are what makes us feel alive. She also told me that everything we do should be done in love and never push ourselves into something that we don’t like or what we don’t want to do cause it will just lead to failure and wrong pathways in life. These moral that our mom told us became my philosophy in my life. So as what is stated above my philosophy in life is, be in love with what  you are aiming for, fight for the burning passion that you have in your life and always have good thoughts even if the world is turning you down.

Well to base on my philosophy in life, having good thoughts in my mind, being in love to whatever I do, I always think the heaven is real and it exists right now but we, people, makes our life look hard, miserable and cruel because we are not contented with what we have.  When it comes to my existence, I think God gave me life to continue my parents’ personal dreams that already died because they had to shoulder the early responsibility to take care and feed their family. I think another nature of my existence is that God lets me borrow his life to let me know that he saves the world from the sins and use our life it in the right and meaningful way, to do good things and treat the people well though I commit mistakes.

Since I love reading books and watching movies there are so many questions that I have in my mind especially when it comes to life. But these set of questions is base on what I’ve observed in life and especially when traveling. First is if the church really wants to help poor people why  just they can’t donate half or all of their income since they are alone in life and/or they don’t have children to or family to feed? Second is if God made humans, who made corrupt and worthless politicians? Third is how can people in slum areas make more babies than people who are rich and stable in life? where and how they are doing those things despite an inadequate space? The fourth is If God makes Jesus, who make God? Well, the fourth question came up from he perfectly managed to create the world in just 7 seven days and I was just so amazed because I can’t even manage myself for just one day. (well, Who am I to judge God? We all know that He is Almighty.) fifth is, is money can’t really buy happiness? Another question is, why ghosts exist?  Do we really have to be hurt and suffer even if we are the ones who makes our life miserable? Why is very hard for the rich people to share their money with the poor people? Is poverty really the government or the citizen’s fault? Why are we not created equally? According to the movie that I’ve watched last month ago, Where do really broken hearts go? What is the end of the rainbow?  What if I failed to be a daughter to my parents? What will happen to my future? Are there any people who really follows the ten commandments? These are the some of the questions in my mind that I can’t answer.

Lastly, the principle that I adhere to is the philosophy of Nicholas chamfort that I saw in my notebooks when I was in my elementary days. And he said there that “A day without laughter is a day wasted” which became my mantra ever since that I’ve read it. Because of this, I became an optimistic person even if I know that my world is tearing apart or I can’t see any chances of something. Having a positive outlook in life makes you more productive and I always thinking up of good things in my life and at the end of the day no matter what negativity or bad things happened to me, nothing will happen if I keep on thinking the bad thoughts in my life. I strongly believe that happiness is a choice. And I always choose to be happy.